The Ownership Advantage

Mindset, Responsibility & Personal Growth

“You don’t control the hand you’re dealt. You control how you play it.”

Choose Ownership

I originally sat down to write about a few lessons from this past weekend—and there were plenty.

But a conversation with one of our kids took things in a different direction. One that applies far beyond sports. It shows up everywhere: on teams, in school, at work, in the gym, and in everyday life.

The victim mentality.

Why Blame Is So Tempting

In group settings, it’s incredibly easy to point fingers.

You can blame:

• Teammates

• Coaches

• Teachers

• Coworkers

• The system

• The schedule

• The environment

And sometimes? You’re not wrong.

Some people do have unfair advantages.
Some get more attention, more opportunity, more resources.
Some start with better genetics, fewer obstacles, or more support.

That part is real.

But here’s the part that actually matters:

What are you going to do about it?

Where Things Go Sideways

This whole conversation started after hearing about a situation where:

“The other group gets more practice time.”
“The teacher favors them.”
“They get more feedback.”

And quickly, that turned into:

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

That’s the moment I stepped in.

Not because of results.
Not because of outcomes.

But because of mindset.

I said something along the lines of:

“I don’t care where you place. I don’t care how it turns out.
But you’re not going to show up not caring, blaming everyone else, and deciding you’re going to lose before you even start.”

That’s not self-protection.

That’s surrender.

This Isn’t Just a Kid Problem

If we’re being honest, this doesn’t stop in childhood.

Adults do the same thing—just with different labels.

We blame:

• Our schedule

• Our income

• Our stress

• Our environment

• Our genetics

• Our injuries

• Our relationships

And to be clear—those things do matter.

Some situations are objectively harder.
Some hands are tougher to play.

That’s exactly why we work to build better systems, better environments, and better support.

But none of that changes this truth:

You still get to decide whether those things define you.

The Choice That Changes Everything

This isn’t just about fitness.
It’s not just about training.

It’s business.
It’s parenting.
It’s relationships.
It’s life.

You have two options:

You can explain why things didn’t work.
Or you can take ownership of what you can control—and play the hand better.

Effort.
Attitude.
Responsibility.

Those are always available.

Final Thought

No hype.
No big motivational speech.

Just a reminder—for anyone who needs it right now:

You still have control over how you show up.

And sometimes, choosing ownership is the most important work you can do.

— Coach Shelby and The Shelby Trained Team